Dr Annick De Houwer:
How to get your child to speak your language and still be friends [Part 2]
This is an edited transcription of a presentation held at the PEaCH summit 10.11.2021.
Dr Annick De Houwer’s pioneering research on bilingual children’s language development has been highly influential. In addition to many journal articles and book chapters, she has published four books on bilingual children.
Dr De Houwer is the President* of the International Association for the Study of Child Language and directs the Harmonious Bilingualism Network. HaBilNet aims to support and stimulate scientific research into harmonious bilingualism and to make sure the results of that research are widely disseminated amongst families and educators.
Strategies and techniques to keep the family languages going
Steer the Conversation Towards one Particular Language
If your child is not speaking the language you are using with them at a given moment, it’s important to address it right away. Here’s what you can do to gently coax them into using the same language:
Step 1: Pause the Conversation
When your child switches to a different language, stop the conversation momentarily. This requires you to be attentive to the language your child is using. While this can be challenging—especially when children are young and parents are simply thrilled their child is speaking at all—it’s important to pay attention if your goal is to nurture a specific language.
Step 2: Ask for Clarification
You could respond by asking, in your language, something like: “What did you say?” This is a normal conversational strategy called a clarification question, used regularly even in monolingual interactions. It’s not about pretending not to understand but about encouraging the child to engage in the language you’re using.
When you ask for clarification, young children in bilingual settings will often adjust and respond in the language you’re speaking, even if their vocabulary is still limited.
Step 3: Translate and Confirm
If your child uses a word in the other language that they don’t yet know in your language, you can translate it for them and ask, “Is that what you meant?” Many children will eagerly repeat the new word in your language, reinforcing their vocabulary.
For example, if your child names a toy in Portuguese but you’re speaking German, you can say the German equivalent of the word and confirm their intention. Young children, especially those in their second year of life, are often in a phase of rapid word learning and will readily absorb the new vocabulary.
Optional: Direct Translation
Another strategy is to translate the child’s word into your language without asking for confirmation. However, research suggests this may be less effective than asking for clarification or confirming the meaning with the child.
Hand Puppet Strategy
For children between two and four years old, a hand puppet that “only speaks one language” can be a fantastic tool. For example, the puppet might “come from Brazil” and only understand Portuguese, even if you’re living in Germany. Children often enjoy talking to the puppet, and parents frequently report their children speaking the target language for the first time through this method.
Other Techniques
- “Full Head” Explanation:
Tell slightly older children (around 2.5 years and up) that your “head is full” of only the words of your language (e.g., German) at the moment, so you don’t have space for words from another language. - Be Present After School:
When children start preschool or school in the societal language, try to be available when they come home. Let them initially share their experiences in the school language but gently coax them into discussing the same topics in your language afterward. This practice helps bridge the two linguistic worlds and reinforces your language as part of their daily routine.
For Primary School-Age Children
As children grow older, especially around 6–8 years old, they may become more reluctant to speak your language, even if they previously used it regularly. In this case:
- Have a Heart-to-Heart Conversation:
Explain why it’s important for you that they speak your language, emphasizing the value of connecting with family, culture, and identity. Be open and honest but avoid turning it into a battleground. Maintaining a harmonious relationship is just as important as nurturing the language.
A Three-Generation Perspective
Helping children maintain your language enables them to communicate with relatives across generations, preserving family bonds. This perspective can guide your approach, ensuring that language learning supports deeper connections within the family.
* Dr. De Houwer’s term as IASCL President went from 2021 until 2024
You can read Part 1 of the presentation here.